Why I say “Merry Christmas” even though I’m not supposed to.

Every year around December 15th, I finally catch the spirit. I love the chilly weather–what chilly weather we get down here in south Texas, anyway. I get to snuggle under warm blankets with my love. And I get to wear my favorite red peacoat and Burberry scarf. Did I mention the leather boots? I love my black leather boots.

I’ve had the Frank Sinatra holiday station playing on my Pandora all week. I’m listening to it now while I type. My sweet Medea is napping next to me on my bed, snuggled up on my blankets. I can’t help but just grin, just a little.

I think I’m officially smitten with Christmas. I’ve got the Christmas warm and fuzzies. I’ve been wishing people a Merry Christmas at work all week, and most of the people I’ve talked to are happy to send me Christmas wishes back.

But you know what’s coming, don’t you?

Me: “Have a Merry Christmas!”

Other Person: “Well…Merry Christmas. But you know you’re supposed to say ‘Happy Holidays.’

Me: “Oh, I know what I’m supposed to say….”

Other Person: “Ok…”


Feel free to lambast me about how ignorant I am, but I don’t really care if I’m supposed to say “Happy Holidays!”

I’m not hurting anyone’s person by saying “Merry Christmas.” I haven’t stabbed anyone with my words. I haven’t drawn blood. I haven’t scared little children.

“But you may offend someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas!”

I may offend someone with my androgynous pixie haircut. I may offend someone because I forget to use my blinker in traffic. I may offend someone because I say “fuck” a lot. Life generally goes on. For all parties involved.

And anyway, who gets offended because someone else tells them, “I hope you have a good day celebrating stuff!” You’re offended because I’m telling you I hope you have a good day?!

Ok, so you don’t celebrate Christmas. You don’t have to! No one is telling you you have to! Please say this if someone assumes you do:

Person who celebrates Christmas: “I hope you have a Merry Christmas!”

Person who does not celebrate Christmas: “Oh, thank you, but I actually don’t celebrate Christmas.”

Person who celebrates Christmas: “Oh! Well, I hope you have a great holiday!” Or “I hope you have a relaxing day off work then!”

Is that really very difficult? Just say, thanks, but no thanks. And everyone goes on with their lives.

Aside from following what rules I need to to keep my job, I’m not going to tiptoe around someone else worrying if I may offend them. And neither should you. Be who you are, but don’t expect everyone else to like it.

Because someone somewhere is going to not like you at some point. That’s just life. Life is often stupid. People are stupid a lot. I don’t know why.

Please don’t be angry if you don’t celebrate Christmas and someone tells you “Merry Christmas.” This is the one time a year where people get excited about being nice to each other. Just be happy someone was nice enough to think of you, and return the favor in whatever way you see fit.

P.S.I’m agnostic. I don’t give a flying fart in space what religion you follow. I’m going to be nice to you at Christmas because I just want to share some positive energy with you.

P.P.S.-Don’t kid yourself. You know you love participating in a little bit of materialism at Christmas. It helps this great economic machine of ours keep going.



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